You might want to consider re-uploading your OGR, as your formatting is mucked-up, and that can happen sometimes with Scribd. But the content was clear enough for its purpose, but I will say on a general note that it's really important that, as a guy seeking to earn fame and fortune in the creative industries, you should be looking to make work, any work, as visually engaging and impactful as possible, and this OGR does come across as pretty last minute and unloved. A bit more pride in your own endeavours, Nick, wouldn't go a-miss!
Okay - lecture over. The good news is that rather more developed Photoshop image of your hybrid - with those wonderfully large translucent hands is absolutely worth pursuing, but I'd suggest you produce a set of drawings wherein the hands etc. are even more exaggerated, and you apply the same logic everywhere else - for instance, consider fan-like webbing between the legs too. Because of all the translucency of your animal, you should think creatively - and theatrically - about lighting effects and dispersal. You should absolutely look at this section from Fantasia for some great examples of using highlights etc. to create startling submarine effects and dazzling, bold use of colour.
I want to see you push this idea much harder now, and give some thought to about how your hybrid might regard itself; is it happy and celebratory in all its new splendour - king of the coral reef - or is it shunned and lonely? I ask these questions because they will help you pose your hybrid and focus on how you might convey its humanity.
Now - on a much less positive note - your introduction to your assignment pretty much breaks every single rule and is blazing, bright example of 'how not to write an introduction at undergraduate level'. I could waste some time re-writing here, what I've already provided elsewhere - but, hey, f**k that, I'm not getting any bloody younger, so what I'd like you to do - and I'd like you to do it now - go on myUCA, goto Anatomy, goto Unit Materials, and goto 'Written Resources' and find the 'Rough Guide' - download the pdf, and go directly to p22 and 'TutorPhil's Written Assignments Do's & Don'ts' and read it - and then read it again - and then re-read your own introductory paragraph... nuff said. Then, go directly to page 34 and read the example Unit 1 essay I've provided you, take notice of why it reads well, how it uses quotes, how it's presented etc., and, when you've done all of that, how about posting another version of your introduction '@Phil' and I'll heap praise upon it from the high heavens :D
Until then - go find out how to be successful at this stuff! And lots more thumbnails please, because I think you're onto something with your hybrid...
OGR 03/10/11
ReplyDeleteHey Nick,
You might want to consider re-uploading your OGR, as your formatting is mucked-up, and that can happen sometimes with Scribd. But the content was clear enough for its purpose, but I will say on a general note that it's really important that, as a guy seeking to earn fame and fortune in the creative industries, you should be looking to make work, any work, as visually engaging and impactful as possible, and this OGR does come across as pretty last minute and unloved. A bit more pride in your own endeavours, Nick, wouldn't go a-miss!
Okay - lecture over. The good news is that rather more developed Photoshop image of your hybrid - with those wonderfully large translucent hands is absolutely worth pursuing, but I'd suggest you produce a set of drawings wherein the hands etc. are even more exaggerated, and you apply the same logic everywhere else - for instance, consider fan-like webbing between the legs too. Because of all the translucency of your animal, you should think creatively - and theatrically - about lighting effects and dispersal. You should absolutely look at this section from Fantasia for some great examples of using highlights etc. to create startling submarine effects and dazzling, bold use of colour.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWKKJwBXir4&feature=related
I want to see you push this idea much harder now, and give some thought to about how your hybrid might regard itself; is it happy and celebratory in all its new splendour - king of the coral reef - or is it shunned and lonely? I ask these questions because they will help you pose your hybrid and focus on how you might convey its humanity.
Now - on a much less positive note - your introduction to your assignment pretty much breaks every single rule and is blazing, bright example of 'how not to write an introduction at undergraduate level'. I could waste some time re-writing here, what I've already provided elsewhere - but, hey, f**k that, I'm not getting any bloody younger, so what I'd like you to do - and I'd like you to do it now - go on myUCA, goto Anatomy, goto Unit Materials, and goto 'Written Resources' and find the 'Rough Guide' - download the pdf, and go directly to p22 and 'TutorPhil's Written Assignments Do's & Don'ts' and read it - and then read it again - and then re-read your own introductory paragraph... nuff said. Then, go directly to page 34 and read the example Unit 1 essay I've provided you, take notice of why it reads well, how it uses quotes, how it's presented etc., and, when you've done all of that, how about posting another version of your introduction '@Phil' and I'll heap praise upon it from the high heavens :D
Until then - go find out how to be successful at this stuff! And lots more thumbnails please, because I think you're onto something with your hybrid...